I was working with a brilliant client recently, and we were deep in conversation about her next big move—securing her ideal leadership position. She shared all the ways she was preparing: tweaking her resume, building connections, even adjusting her tone in meetings. On paper, she was doing everything right. But the energy behind it? It didn’t feel like empowerment—it felt like correction.
As she laid it all out, I asked a question that changed everything:
“Do you believe you’re doing anything wrong?”
That moment shifted the entire conversation.
She realized that everything she was working on came from a place of fixing. She was responding to what others told her she lacked—skills she needed to sharpen, ways she needed to “show up differently.” And because that advice came from mentors, sponsors, and respected professionals in her industry, she believed it. She trusted them. But they didn’t know the full story of her.
She had taken on their suggestions as truth, not because they were malicious, but because they were influential. Their words carried weight. What they didn’t fully see was her lived experience, her power, her unique leadership style. And instead of leaning into her strengths, she was chasing a version of herself they thought she should be.
That’s the cost of misaligned feedback. It doesn’t just shape your career path—it can shake your confidence. And if you’re not mindful, you’ll start believing that who you are isn’t enough. That you need to become someone else in order to lead.
But let me tell you something important—especially if you’re a woman navigating leadership spaces where you’re often the only one who looks like you: you’re not missing anything.
There’s a difference between growth and over-correction. Yes, feedback can be helpful—but only when it’s aligned with your truth. When you begin to internalize feedback that’s unfiltered, it becomes a distraction. Instead of standing firmly in your identity, you get stuck in the loop of proving, adjusting, and performing.
Anything you believe, you breathe life into. If you believe you’re lacking, you’ll operate from scarcity—always striving, never arriving. But if you believe your strength lies in your authenticity, you’ll begin to lead from a place of fullness. You’ll stop obsessing over what’s missing and start amplifying what’s already there.
That’s what empowered leadership looks like. It’s not about mimicking someone else’s path. It’s about walking your own with clarity and conviction.
This client didn’t need to become someone new—she needed to remember who she already was. And once she did, everything shifted. She stopped seeking permission and started owning her power. The truth is, when you embrace the leader you already are, opportunities begin to respond to your presence, not just your performance.
If you’re constantly adjusting who you are to make others comfortable, it’s time to pause. Take a breath. Ask yourself: What if there’s nothing wrong with me? What if I already have everything I need to rise?
That’s not just a mindset shift—it’s a reclamation. And it’s one that changes how you show up in every room.
You don’t need more certifications or more approval. You need more you.
So let me ask you—what’s one belief about yourself that you’re ready to rewrite?
Please note that I don’t make any guarantees about the results of the information provided. I share educational and informational resources that are intended to help you succeed in the coaching program. You nevertheless need to know that your ultimate success or failure will be the result of your own efforts, your particular situation, and innumerable other circumstances beyond my knowledge and control. I am not a licensed psychologist or specialist healthcare professional. My services do not replace the care of psychologists or other healthcare professionals. I can’t take any responsibility for the results of your actions and any harm or damage you suffer as a result of the use, or non-use of the information provided.
